In Search Of The Lost Treasure Of Zealandia.

Drifting on the vast tide of the Pacific Ocean towards South East of Australia the Beer and Flies vessel was abuzz with activity.  The Doctor had been in the bar for several days, pouring over endless maps and charts while the other crew watched on, drinking, making music and merry.

‘I’ve been wanting to find myself in these waters for years,’ mumbled the Doctor to himself. 

‘You need some sleep, Doctor,’ said Nicole, sipping a Mojito. 

‘No time for that, not when we’re so close,’ said the Doctor, looking up wild eyed from the charts.  

The Doctor’s notes were strewn across the large oak panelled desk on pages covered in indecipherable scrawls, symbols, bizarre geometries and mathematical calculations.  

‘What is all this?’ asked Kyle, swaying over the maps and papers, ‘it’s making me dizzy, just looking at it!’ 

‘The Doctor looks pretty dizzy too,’ pointed out Scott.     

The Doctor, ignoring these jibes, strode out the bar room and dashed up to the bridge to see the Captain.  

‘What’s he up to?’ I asked.

‘Who knows!’ replied Brad, ‘no doubt we’ll soon find out though.’ 

‘Never mind,’ said Nicole, ‘can you pass me a drink fine Sir?’ she went on, nodding to Jay who had taken up residence behind the bar.  

‘Coming right up!’


The crew had finally been getting some R&R on the open waters.  After dropping of Ziv and Brandon on New Caledonia to kindle the fires of an insane revolution, the Captain and the Doctor had decided that it would be best to lay low for a few weeks; especially after dumping the Mayor of Sydney into the ocean, tied to a buoy with a tracker taped to his forehead.  

However, never to miss a good opportunity for further research, the Doctor had been going through his leather bound books and had apparently found what he was looking for.  

‘There’ll never look for us there,’ he said, justifying his lunatic scheme, as much to himself as anyone else.

‘Find us where?’ Scott had asked. 

‘You’ll see, nothing’s certain yet,’ replied the Doctor cryptically, before returning to his maps. 

That was a week ago; and the intervening time had been spent brushing up some new tracks for the upcoming leg of the World Tour and testing the Quartermaster David’s patience by setting up a permanent camp in the bar, burning through the supplies as if they weren’t several thousand miles from the nearest liquor store.  


The Beer and Flies cruised slowly towards the incredible island, a vast pyramid that reached almost 2000 feet into the air, its rugged peaks the only visible feature for miles.  The crew were standing on the deck, looking up at it in awe.  

‘What is that?’ asked Nicole.

‘That,’ said the Doctor, taking in the incredible sight, ‘is ‘Ball’s Pyramid, the last remnant of the lost continent of Zealandia.’

‘Zealandia?’ I asked, ‘what do you mean by a lost continent?’

‘During huge tectonic shifts millions of years ago an entire continent was plunged under the waves as two of the earth’s plates collided into each other, and that peak there, is all that’s left of it!’ explained the Doctor.

‘Amazing,’ said Nicole, ‘but why are we here, just for sightseeing?’

The Doctor laughed, ‘Well it is quite a sight to behold, I’ll give you that, but that pyramid island is said to hide an incredible treasure of value beyond belief!’ 

‘Really,’ said Scott, who had been listening on with interest.  

‘It’s going to be hard to land near those rocks,’ said the Captain, looking out across the choppy sea, waves crashing into the jagged rocks of the island, ‘we’ll have to send out the motor boat, but even then, it’ll be tricky to make a landing.’

‘How much is this treasure worth, then?’ asked Scott.

‘Long lost legends, hidden only in rare books, refer to a treasure on the island that would make a Sultan blush, a central banker scratch their head and Fort Knox itself look like a jar of sweets in comparison!’ said the Doctor.

‘That’s quite a treasure,’ said Nicole, ‘you really think it’s still there?’

‘Hasn’t anyone tried to get it before?’ asked the Captain, ‘if it’s that valuable?’

‘Of course,’ said the Doctor, ‘many tried before the legend of the treasure of Ball’s Pyramid was lost in the mists of time, thousands of ships are wrecked in the waters beneath us and no doubt, many thousands of skeletons wash about on the ocean floor.’

‘Holy Moly,’ said Nicole.


The Captain and the Doctor were on the bridge, using the sonar to map out the ocean floor and the hidden rocks around the island. 

‘It’s certainly not going to be easy,’ said the Captain, ‘but I think we can do it.’

‘Agreed,’ replied the Doctor.

‘Although, what I would advise is that we secure the expeditionary motor boat to the main Beer and Flies vessel to stop it getting thrown against the rocks, and also secure your infiltration team to the main vehicle, in case you get flung overboard and dashed against the rocks.’

‘Agreed,’ confirmed the Doctor, ‘that’s an excellent idea.’

The two veteran pirates looked out across the water as the huge waves burst against the jagged cliffs of Ball’s Pyramid. 

‘Okay,’ said the Doctor, ‘I’ll go under deck and start making preparations.  We’ll make the attempt to land on that island early in the morning to give us as much light as possible on the island.


The Doctor and David, the ship’s Quartermaster, were in the supplies room putting together the equipment.  Ropes, grapples, torches, food supplies, water were all stacked up at the door of the room, waiting for the mission the next day.

Meanwhile, Bad Brad was going over the motor boat in the workshop, securing a line to it that could be attached to the ship, checking its motors, engine and adding an extra protective layer of nano carbon to the hull to protect it from the sharp rocks.

In the bar, the Captain was telling stories about past exploits of the ship, with the other crew chipping in with forgotten details.  

The ship was tense as the sun went down and as the crew slept through the night every head was dreaming about a mystical long lost treasure.  What will the team find when they land on Ball’s Pyramid, will they even make it?

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