Final Arrangements For The Gig – Casual Kidnapping And Grand Theft Aerial.


The sun was just setting as Nicole, Bad Brad and Brandon returned from the Taronga Zoo.  As they approached the Beer and Flies vessel in their small motorboat, bouncing over the harbor’s waves, they could hear music on board the ship.  


Behind them the Sydney Harbor Bridge was still adorned with the Beer and Flies flag; and despite the best efforts of Sydney’s fire brigade, they hadn’t yet brought it down.  

Rumours and counter-rumours spread through the city – everybody had their own opinion on how the flag got up there and who, in point of fact, put it there.  The Beer and Flies gig in the Opera house had sold out and things were looking good. 


The Captain had not yet returned with Ziv and the Doctor from his meeting but the rest of the crew were jovial on board.  The gig was the following night and everyone was limbering up for the show.  


Nicole came climbing up the ladder onto the deck, with Bad Brad and Brandon close behind.

‘How was the zoo?’ asked Jay. 

‘Oh great thanks, you boys feeling better?’ she asked. 

‘Absolutely,’ said Jay, ‘there’s some shrimp on the barbecue if you want some.’

‘Yes, thanks,’ said Nicole as she breezed on board the ship.

‘Hello guys,’ said Bad Brad, ‘where’s the Captain?’

‘He’s not back yet, he went to the Opera House to sort out tomorrow’s gig.’ replied Jay.

‘Okay, good, where are the beers?’



The slimy Events Manager was pacing up and down the carpet, as the Captain, Ziv and Mad Myx sat on the couch, looking out the window across the harbor.  

‘He should be here soon,’ said the Events Manager, wringing his hands.

‘No problems,’ said the Captain, clearly indicating that there was a problem. 

‘I’m afraid it’s over my head, Captain,’ said the Events Manager. 


The Events Manager had just got through explaining that the Mayor of Sydney had been on the phone that morning, asking about the flag on the bridge, demanding immediate answers.  


‘It’s no doubt just some PR stunt by one of our dedicated fans,’ the Captain had replied smoothly, when asked about the flag.

‘Your own PR department could learn a thing or two from that fan,’ added the Doctor, ‘creativity Sir, it’s the essence of the industry!’  

Ziv laughed, getting up to wander across to the bar, ‘Can you get you anything?’ he asked, looking over his shoulder.

‘No thanks,’ said the Captain.  The Doctor shook his head, then continued, ‘How long is this Mayor going to be?’

‘He’s in his helicopter already, should be here in a moment.’ said Bruce, the Events Manager.


Several minutes later the Mayor of Sydney strutted into the lounge, red face puffing.  He walked over to the Captain, Ziv and the Doctor, still reclining on the couch, and announced that he was furious.  

‘What is this?!’ he shouted, ‘how did that flag get up on that bridge, and why can’t my fire brigades remove it?’

‘They might be fans of the band?’ suggested the Doctor with a wry smile. 

‘Jesus wept!’, the Mayor said, wincing.

‘Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?’ said the Captain calmly. 

‘It’s Jake, Jake Caesar, Mayor of Sydney, and who the hell are you?’

‘I’m the Captain,’ said the Captain, ‘and if you don’t restrain yourself, Mayor, I’ll be forced to commandeer your ship; we’ve got an important gig tomorrow night you see, and already this is becoming quite tiresome.’

‘How dare you!’ said the Major, ‘I’m going to have you arrested and there won’t be any gig tomorrow night, not if I have anything to do with it!’

‘Well, it’s obviously no use trying to talk reason to this man,’ said the Captain, looking across to Ziv and the Doctor.

The Doctor nodded, ‘You’re right, unfortunately, Captain, I guess there’s only one thing for it.’

‘What do you mean?’ shouted the Mayor.  

‘Come with us, Mayor, out to the helipad, we’ll walk you to the chopper.’ said the Captain, as Ziv and the Doctor took the Mayor by the arms, guiding him towards the door.

‘Which way to the helipad?’ the Doctor asked Bruce. 

‘It’s well, not exactly a helipad, but the chopper is out the back of the building.’ said Bruce. 

‘Which way?’ asked the Doctor.

‘Oh, right, yea, uh, through the main stage, then down the passageway behind it, and it’s the last door, right at the back.’ said Bruce.   

‘Thank you,’ said the Captain to Bruce, the Events Manager, ‘we’ll straighten all this out with the Mayor, and then see you tomorrow night.  Okay?’ 

‘Uh, yes, of course, as long as it all gets straightened out.’ replied Bruce. 


The Mayor was still raging, ‘What’s going on?’

‘We’re just walking you to your helicopter, Sir,’ said Ziv with a smile, ‘everything’s going to be just fine, you’ll see.’

Walking through the auditorium, with the empty stage shrouded in darkness the Doctor commented on how great the acoustics were while the Mayor continued arguing, to no avail, with the Captain.


‘Right,’ said the Captain as they approached the back of the building, you two, wait in there with him, hold on for 2 minutes then meet me at the helicopter. 

‘Got you, Captain,’ said the Doctor, as he and Ziv bundled the protesting Mayor into a cleaning cupboard along the corridor.

‘And keep him quiet!’ said the Captain as he strode down the hallway.    


Outside the helicopter sat idling, with the pilot in the front seat reading a newspaper. 

The Captain rushed across the tarmac, ‘Are you with the Mayor?’ he asked, feigning concern. 

‘Yes, why?’ asked the Pilot.

‘He’s upstairs in the bar, he’s furious, he says he needs to see you immediately!’ said the Captain, ‘he was waving his arms about, shouting, it doesn’t look good for you!’

‘Okay, right.’ said the pilot, looking worried. 

The pilot rushed into the building and ran upstairs.  


A moment later the Doctor and Ziv emerged from the back door, with the Mayor between them, dragging him across the tarmac as they ran towards the helicopter.  The Captain was sitting at the controls, warming up the engine, the blades already spinning fast. 

‘Get him in here,’ shouted the Captain over the engine. 

‘Yes Sir!’ said the Doctor.  

The Mayor had already been gagged with his own necktie, and was hog tied with his own trousers.  Ziv and the Doctor threw him into the back seat of the helicopter, Ziv jumping in beside him and the Doctor getting in the front seat next to the Captain.  

‘All aboard!’ shouted the Captain, as the helicopter lifted into the air. 

Beneath them on the tarmac the pilot was running towards them shouting and flapping his arms in a panic.  Ziv waved to him out the window as the chopper ripped through the air and flew away across the harbor.


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